these are a couple from today lol
________ isn't saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem solve itself?
________ just had a fight with her alarm clock. It wanted her to wake up, she disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clocks broken and she's wide awake. Not sure who won :)
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on June 11, 2010, 07:35:45 PM
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
:laughat:
i think of all the people on my list, Seth comes up with the funniest lol
Seth Eads Can anybody here say "
*I need a thesaurus"?" If so, then you can successfully describe my weird egg carton fetish I've had since childhood. It never diminished even over the years when I quit raising chickens for a while.
Seth Eads The Night Mange, scourge of the earth!!! Well, one of the scourges of the earth anyways, there's actually many....
Seth Eads Hello to all the people that I never talk to, and that don't talk to me.
My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Seth definitely wins the category of most consistantly posting bizarre ones
Seth Eads My next business venture: Create a line of avian prosthetics for poultry.
:laughat:
King's Clown Do the people who spend $3.00 a piece on those little bottles of "Evian" water know
that spelling it backwards is "Naive"?
Nice!! ^^^^
I'll have to start posting some. ;)
:lurk:
Dani ____ thinks she's found a simple cure for stupidity... a shock collar. And if it doesn't cure them, at least you got a good laugh watching them twitch :)
(that one even sounded like a seth status lol)
Stacey ____________ "oh great, now the VOICES in my head want their own Facebook.!"
Failbook.com is a site my coworkers and I amuse ourselves on regularly. Some are not suitable but most are hysterical
lol bookmarked it to look at later
also http://www.generatus.com/ if you're having writers block :grin:
This was AWESOME today! I may use it later for myself...it's SO ME!
"I know I'm not insane, if I was, the Rubber Duckies would have told me already. They tell me everything you know."
Quote from: MelodyB on June 15, 2010, 11:13:08 PM
This was AWESOME today! I may use it later for myself...it's SO ME!
"I know I'm not insane, if I was, the Rubber Duckies would have told me already. They tell me everything you know."
:laughat: good one
Anne B.__________ My mind isn't lost, it just ran away ...screaming
Linda _________ Is Wondering why you have to renew a drivers license and a fishing license but not marriage license? I'm thinking its because so many would just let the marriage license expire.
Miki B_____ says: If karma doesnt knock you out soon, I will.
LOL
Seth Eads It was nine feet high and six feet wide and soft as a downy chick. Made from the feathers of forty-leven geese, it took a whole bolt of cloth for the tick.
Seth Eads was just electrocuted by the thunderstorm passing through. True story. I was standing barefoot and had my hands on the top of the freezer, and I got zapped. Now I'm going to wear rubber boots for the rest of my life.
:laughhard:
Just had 2 statuses that couldnt have been so perfectly matched up, one under another
Dean ____________ Water broke...we are heading to the hospital!
Stella Renae ________________ we have NO water, a house full and no water, dishes & laundry to do and no water! UGH! :(
That's kinda awesome - u should submit to failbook :-)
seems so much on FB is reminding us of Seth, but i am sure you can see why this one made me immediately think of him lol
Quote____ Miller Ok can someone please tell me where to find prarie poop????????????????? I have clicked about everything known to man and still have not hit the right combination.
:laughhard:
QuoteDan ***** ....Saved a bunch of money on my Mental Insurance by switching to Psycho!
:beret:
Now THAT'S a good one!
Here were 2 statuses that made me laugh being one after the other on my news feed board lol
Seth ~~~~ Referring to the sweat that this weather brings on: "yeah, but it's better for you than it staying in...
it's like your skin is peeing and getting rid of all the toxins in your body..." ~ Nurse Chel ~~~~
~~~Then this was next~~~~
Elona ~~~~~ is enjoying the coolness of this August day. No idea what the temp is, but the breeze from the window is GORGEOUS! Inspires spring cleaning!
Katie **** - So, I'm baking chocolate chip cookies while Jeff and the kids play in the living room. Benjamin was pretending to be a tow truck driver, but that the tow hook part of the truck was broken. So, he drove it to the "shop" and announced "I need a new hooker!"
:laughhard:
David ------"The new airport security motto: 'Can't see London, can't see France, until we see your underpants.' " :)
BAHAHA I so should not have come into this thread I'm dying laughing!
These are all from my friend Tyson he's hysterical!
Tyson - Monday just gave me a wedgie and took my lunch money.
Tyson - Women here's hint #5. When trying to make light of a bad spousal day your husband is joking. He is not bright enough to realize you'd check his facebook. Slap him and move on.
Tyson- Women heres man hint #4. We will act 10 years old when we teach our sons to *I like to use words that offend people. I don't think it's wrong, and I don't care if it offends people* on each other. However we did not tell them to do it to mom. That's on them, not us.
Tyson - Women here's man hint #3. When we are being silent we are not trying to hack you off. We are scared, and don't want to repeat the initial thing that made you mad.
Tyson - Women man hint #2. We ask "what did I do?" you respond " you know". We don't really know I promise. See man hint #1.
Tyson - Women here's man hint #1. We can't read your minds. We can barely string together a coherent thought ourselves, much less know yours. Learn this.
:rotfl: :spitlaugh: :uhoh: :rofl: :laughhard:
Oh my word, these are hilarious! I may use some of these later.
Quote from: MsJennJenn on November 29, 2010, 05:33:52 PM
BAHAHA I so should not have come into this thread I'm dying laughing!
These are all from my friend Tyson he's hysterical!
Tyson - Women here's man hint #3. When we are being silent we are not trying to hack you off. We are scared, and don't want to repeat the initial thing that made you mad.
Tyson - Women man hint #2. We ask "what did I do?" you respond " you know". We don't really know I promise. See man hint #1.
Tyson - Women here's man hint #1. We can't read your minds. We can barely string together a coherent thought ourselves, much less know yours. Learn this.
I might borrow them as well... might garner some interesting comments! LOL... but I will credit Tyson... lol :)
These 3 are awesome! LOL!
Tyson must not be married, or married to the wrong person. He doesn't know women very well. Some may act that way, but I don't know any who do.
Quote from: Sis on November 30, 2010, 10:22:15 AM
Tyson must not be married, or married to the wrong person. He doesn't know women very well. Some may act that way, but I don't know any who do.
No he is married - thus the reason for #5....lol his wife got on his FB and read his postings...LOL
It's all good now - he is right on some account though.
I had never looked at this thread before.....
I'm famous. :freaky2:
A FB avatar that's kinda funny!
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs466.snc4/49137_1427633412_8013687_s.jpg)
Joshua, playing w/ Jordan: "I circumcised the demon." Jordan: "WHAT???" Joshua: "You know, cast it out." Jordan: "You mean exorcised, doof."
----------
(Joshua and Jordan are his two sons.)
Quote from: Chseeads on December 10, 2010, 06:48:27 PM
Joshua, playing w/ Jordan: "I circumcised the demon." Jordan: "WHAT???" Joshua: "You know, cast it out." Jordan: "You mean exorcised, doof."
----------
(Joshua and Jordan are his two sons.)
:laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard:
Quote from: Chseeads on December 10, 2010, 06:48:27 PM
Joshua, playing w/ Jordan: "I circumcised the demon." Jordan: "WHAT???" Joshua: "You know, cast it out." Jordan: "You mean exorcised, doof."
----------
(Joshua and Jordan are his two sons.)
:laughat:
Thomas __________ I had an omelet for supper last night and then dreamt that I was served steamed baby chicks and ducklings at a fancy Chinese restaurant.
Quote from: Tricia Lea on December 16, 2010, 05:12:20 AM
Thomas __________ I had an omelet for supper last night and then dreamt that I was served steamed baby chicks and ducklings at a fancy Chinese restaurant.
lol
Again from my friend Tyson:
"Monday just tried to tattle on me to Santa. Monday it's on like Donkey Kong."
from my friend Jerry:
Just saw a girl in a plain push wheelchair holding on to her guy's motorized wheelchair and rolling behind him. Dude, she's using you. --- Anonymous
Wicky------- Tommy has a terrible cough! I just gave him 2 ounces of dark chocolate, hot herbal tea with honey, and now I'm about to put vicks vapor rub on his feet with socks and put him to bed. If that doesn't stop the cough tonight, I'll try exlax. He won't cough for a million dollars!
This was AMAZING! LOVED it!
QuoteTiffany **** If I lived in the snow.... I'd carry an ice cream scoop....hello?! Instant snowball!
Family from NM: One of these days I am going to slam on my brakes and some unfortunate tailgater is going to run into the back of my car.
Friend from KC: If you ever fund yourself frustrated or annoyed because you have 10 cars tailgating you, do us all a favor. Cut up your license, sell your car, and call a taxi.
Ever do a reverse pass? Something I only do if someone is riding my tail really close. Get in the passing lane, hit the brakes and let him go past. He's in front so he's happy, I don't have anyone on my bumper so I'm happy.
I am not forgetful~ I just need to defrag my brain and free up space for new information!
From my friend Jerry this morning:
is proud somebody actually complimented him on his driving abilities today. They left a little note on the windshield, it said 'Parking Fine'
Amy ~~ ~~~~~
So one day, many years ago, I was at work, my mom called, she said.. your cat has a tick stuck on her belly and I have pulled, and pulled and pulled and I just can't get the tick off. So, when I get home I said, show me, I can't find a tick. ( thought it was strange, the cat never went outside) Mom pointed to one of her teats. POOR CAT.
Nicole ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, "Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.
:lol:
S~~~~~~ C~~~~~
Maybe while writing our Wills we need to leave our FB password in them??
That would be a short section of the will for me. Ain't got none. :P
--Just took a pen off of someone's desk! Thugglife!
Quote from: Kloey on April 07, 2011, 11:02:58 AM
--Just took a pen off of someone's desk! Thugglife!
:laughhard: Gotta be a cop- you can't leave a pen or a donut lying around a cop, they'll take it everytime!
Quote from: five-oh on April 07, 2011, 11:46:24 AM
Quote from: Kloey on April 07, 2011, 11:02:58 AM
--Just took a pen off of someone's desk! Thugglife!
:laughhard: Gotta be a cop- you can't leave a pen or a donut lying around a cop, they'll take it everytime!
K_________ S_______ E________
QuoteI just sneezed so hard the applications on all my phone logged out simultaneously.
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen!, Want a sandwich?"
by AA
"______________ There isn't any attitude that a dill pickle and reeses won't cure! Oh yeah!!!!"
and she wasnt even a GPer!!! hahahaha!
J--------- P------------
The regular organist was sick and Allyson was subbed at the last moment. The pastor gave her a song list and said she would have to think of a final song after the building fund offering. The pastor related the fund's status and said they needed $5,000 that morning. He asked that anyone that could give $100 or more to stand. The organ belted out "The Star Spangled Banner". Allyson is now the regular organist.
hahahahaha, love it Tricia!
a fb friend other than seth had this as her status the other day
"i dont hate all people, just the ones that breathe"
So, if Eve cursed the entire human race for a piece of fruit, I wonder what she'd do for a Klondike Bar....
Quote from: kmymbir on June 09, 2011, 12:04:24 AM
So, if Eve cursed the entire human race for a piece of fruit, I wonder what she'd do for a Klondike Bar....
I might have to steal that one lol
Quote from: kmymbir on June 09, 2011, 12:04:24 AM
So, if Eve cursed the entire human race for a piece of fruit, I wonder what she'd do for a Klondike Bar....
I TOTALLY know where you got that today! And I read it out loud to Krissy, Granny and Heather, then repeated it to mom when I got home! LOVE IT!
J.D. I hope you're not just a side effect of my medications.......
Lol I love you Mel.
:lurk:
By the way, if you ever wonder who has the more unconditional love for you, put your spouse and your dog in the trunk of the car for one hour. When you open it, who's still happy to see you? From the Saddleback Leather Co site. ROFL.
:hi:
I just saw this one...
"Yo momma so saved she starting crying in Home Depot, cause Jesus was a carpenter...."
Ghetto word of the day: Bleed - "Gas is 3.69, can you bleed that?" Haha
Ghetto word of the day: Cologne- "You think you cologne me a dollar or two
Ghetto Word Of the Day: WINDOW : "Imma pay my car insurance, I just don't know window!"
"Stop sending Farmville invites! I don't have time to do anything other than be nosy on FB!"